/end

World destroying nnnnow.

PART FUCKING THREE.

Emotion-rape part 2.

I love when I fucking throw things away and my insane, rubbish-sorting hoarder of a mother takes it back out, only to surprise-rape my emotions at a later date.

Had dreams.

Tried to wash my face, broke down sobbing.

Curled up into a ball in my bathroom, sobbing harder.

Time heals all wounds, does it. No. Time always makes it harder.

Every single day for a year now I have sobbed in this manner. Each morning, afternoon, night.

I’m so tired.

It will never go away.

Please stop tormenting me

Please

Confront me or block me again please

I’m not sleeping, I can’t eat

Trying to not take those pills that numb me to this, trying to not bleed to distract myself

I’m tired of you haunting my waking state and my dreams

I am seriously losing it and hahaha can’t talk about because it will be judges or not understood or fuck it

Stop stop stop stop

James Thomas Miller, rest safe with the knowledge you were the beginning of the end.

All I ever loved was all I ever hated. You torment me, and all I ever wanted was freedom.

I didn’t want a magical cure, or to be fixed, I wanted to be heard. Just someone to listen.

I stupidly trusted someone else, who stole that final part of me away. So now I hide, knowing what comes next. When you are completely destroyed, the last thing you need to one final thing to push you over the edge.

Facebook is gone, and in due time, this will go. As will my phone.

No one needs to see what happens, all I do is complicate things.

That’s why you left, isn’t it, James?

I stayed alive because I at least could dream to escape, but that is no longer the case. You haunt me there, and it is driving me mad.

Love is truly the death of me, and that is sad to say, because it was all I wanted.

The two of you are two I wish I had never met.

One day you will remember me, James.

Hopefully.